Love me 'till the end of human life
by dunedin girl
Summary: She was not wrong about her feelings. They were reciprocated. But she was wrong about her devastation. A story of a girl who took it too far and a mated with his singer vampire struggling to bring her back. What will it take? Entry for the June Drabble Wars!
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya sweeties! This is why I have been AWOL. Please see below the fellow entries for the June Drabble Wars, go read their stories and review. **

**I don't own Twilight. **

**Drabble Guidlines:** no min or max chapter count... the idea was 100-350 word chaps... but just drabble-ish fics are fine... try to at least keep them under 1000 word chaps... any subject... any pairing... and have fun! :)

1.) **TrueEnglishRose**

**Sticks and Stones**

Summary: "Sticks and stones may break our bones... but Bella will surely kill us." What happens when an overprotective father sends his innocent baby girl to a private self-defense course run by a gay man? Oh if he only knew what he was paying for! Edward and Jasper aren't the only ones who have something to teach, seems Bella does as well... the art of patience.

2.)** Mona Rider **

**Middle Ground**

**Summary: **The Middle Ground is run by the most intellectual of mankind, and they run a facility that is known as Halfway Guild. They take care of the sickly, elderly and control the procreation of the human species.

3.)**Layne Fair **

**Transparent**

Summary:

4.) **amandac3**

**Carnal Knowledge **

Summary: "Does age really matter when your heart is on the line? I say to hell with that." Meet Isabella Swan. New in town, new school, new friends, new boyfriend. Meet Edward Cullen. Successful architect and single father to a 17 year old boy. Sparks fly upon their first meeting. Will they be able to resist each other or will they give in to their indecent desires?

5.) **dunedin girl**

Love me 'till the end of (human) life

Summary: She was not wrong about her feelings. They were reciprocated. But she was wrong about her devastation. A story of a girl who took it too far and a mated with his singer vampire struggling to bring her back. What will it take? Entry for the June drabble wars 2012.

6.) **Misfit Heartbreak**

Summary: **The Dark Side Of Love**

DRABBLE COMING IN JUNE FOR DRABBLE WARS Bella Swan is a sheriff for Forks, her secret lover Edward Manson is a vampire, but Bella has no clue of it until now. Murders are going across the town of Forks it's up to Bella Swan to figure out who is doing it and why.

7.) **Lolo84 **

Summary:** I Do But Not Today**

When a secret is revealed, just days before her wedding, Bella leaves her fiancé Edward, as well as her sisters, in a panic: wondering; will she be able to forgive him, or leave him standing at the altar.

8.) **Anabella Cullen P** (Ana B Cullen P, here)

Summary: **Girl of Smoke and Glass ** s/8227989/1/Girl_of_Smoke_and_Glass

Just a couple of minutes and the whole newfound purpose of my afternoons has passed and

is gone. Like so much smoke.

Green eyes. I wish I had the courage to look at them again. But I know that if I reach for him in anyway, he´ll look right through me as if I were made of glass.

Official Alternate: USED

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**Before we start thanks go out to my amazing Scottish prereader Angelaluvsfanfic, my amazing beta Keli aka Breath of Twilight, and the Awesome fantastic Christag Banners, who let me adopt her baby banner! Thank you all, I truly appreciate all your efforts!**

Love me 'till the end of (human) life...

BPOV

I never expected to fall in love with him. I never expected to fall in love with anyone. Falling in love was for Jane Austen's Lizzie and Bronte's Cathy. Women, who, were very aware of their surroundings. Of themselves. And then, there's the tragedy of love. Always the ups and downs.

Blame it on my upbringing, where I have served as my mother's carer, calendar, and god knows what else. Blame it on my quiet self sufficient nature. I don't know, maybe the need became personality trait. Freud, come, darling give us a hand here, help us solve the equation! I have never longed for more insecurity. I had more than plenty of that, more than enough for a 17 year olds' share. I wanted roots.

Deep inside, though, the longing and the craving for someone to call my own, stirred. The feeling lingered unnamed, unacknowledged, lest I turn into my mother, where her need for a partner was the quintessence of her existence.

I digress. I always do.

So, I never expected my life to turn out quite like that. I think the ancient Greeks call it a tragic irony. I think it fits the part. Who would have thought I had such a drama queen streak? Not me that's for sure. But something broke inside me when he rejected my love.

And here I am, with my wrists slit, all bled out, sitting in a fucking coma, unmoving, un-alive, and yet not quite fucking un-dead. Let's start from the beginning though, shall we?

My name is Bella Swan. I'm an idiot, and I killed myself for love. Worst part of it is: I didn't even succeed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all your alerts, reviews and favourites. A big thank you to our hosts: DW Masen and texasbella for the amazing love and support! **

**Christag Banners in the imagery, Angelaluvsfanfic in moral patriotic support, Breath of Twilight in grammar, spelling and other mishaps! **

Chapter 2

BPOV

The decision to move to Forks made itself. It was a simple process. And fast. I found myself in a plane, arriving at Sea Tac where my father Charlie, waited, miles away from the heat of Phoenix, and my happy-go-lucky mother... her new husband … and their lovey-dovey current status. I mean, do I seem cynical? Or hearing your mother scream from the top of her lungs how good Phil is satisfying her, just ruins it for you.

Yes, mother, he fucks you good, I get it.

Said Phil- got a job on a minor league baseball team in Jacksonville, Florida. The screaming yeses stopped, effectively, and cue the huffs and puffs, yet no big bad wolf could be seen on sight.

Maybe that was why I never bothered. In Phoenix, at school, I tried my best to be invisible. Few friends, nothing in particular. Few dates, with awkward boys, and some sloppy kisses. I wanted a profound, soul shaking love past all the mundane.

I decided Charlie was the best solution, with the worst weather in a convenient Washington package. The relief started when Charlie and I exchanged ten words in conversation during the 3 and a half hour drive from SeaTac to Forks.

And it ended when a pair of liquid amber eyes gazed into mine in the most offensive way. Welcome to Forks High, home of the fucking Spartans.


	3. Chapter 3

**There will be a HEA, for those who asked. Familiar faces make me smile. On with the show! Review if you want moooooorrrre!**

Chapter 3

BPOV

Am I depressed? Is that what I am? Or just pure crazy? For once now, I'm bored. A lingering shadow; between this place and the next. The only thing that gets to me, are your dry sobs. Your whispers of love, above my comatose body.

Your soft cool caresses on the bandages that conceal my slain wrists. In those moments I try to tell you. Tell you, that it's all right. At least it will be. Even though I know I can't guarantee it. That none of this was your fault. That I'm sorry for the pain I have caused you. For the note. The note that you found. Because you were meant to uncover it. It was in your school bag. There is nothing I could regret more.

Sometimes, the human psyche is like a freight train heading towards a broken bridge unmanned and uncontrolled. Mine was like that. For days on end, after you ran like you did and you left me in the rain, the freight train had been set at top speed and the driver had jumped off. It consumed me, the thought, the rejection, the plan, the execution.

Nobody knew about us. Just his family. Just me. Our dirty little secret. My love, the vegetarian vampire.


	4. Chapter 4

**Do you want more?**

Chapter 4

BPOV

On the first day of school, I made an effort. I wore my new, skinny jeans, and small, quirky butterfly earrings, my royal blue sweater. I even put on blusher. And some lip balm.

I took my time eating breakfast. Charlie and I were a quiet duet. Quiet and a bit sneaky. Yesterday, my dad, dared to ask me about why I left Renee. I told him about her loud screaming, sex habits. He said he filed the divorce for that exact reason. I smiled and even chuckled a little. It was then, I knew I'd be all right with Charlie.

The low buzzing of the fridge was the only noise heard in the house that morning. I didn't even feel nervous. I'm sure that my superiority complex had kicked in at some point.

I met with Mrs Cope that morning. I parked my homecoming present in the shape of a noisy red truck that was my definition of freedom along with a warning to steer clear. She talked with a smile and lightly touched my arm when she was animatedly explaining the small Forks High campus.

She gave me my schedule and added to her speech how much Charlie had missed me. I was happy to finally find a place I felt like calling my home.

The relief didn't last long.


	5. Chapter 5

**I love you all!**

Chapter 5

BPOV

It started with Jessica, then continued with Mike and Eric, Tyler and finally Angela. I made an impression with my snarky jokes and my sarcasm.

Lunch time came. I sat with my soda on the table, feeling the need to make uncomfortable conversation with people I hardly knew, and having only Angela as my defence to try and tame the savage nosey beasts.

And then they came. Ethereal, walking on air, made of beauty and ivory and stardust. They explained to me about the Cullens. The secretive, low key children of Dr. and Mrs Cullen. The couples between adopted siblings. And then, you walked in.

Your eyes carried mysteries and pain. Pain like my own. Pain of solitude. How could I have known back then, that I was the cause of that pain? How can you ever forgive me?


	6. Chapter 6

**Do you want more? **

Chapter 6

BPOV

It's night time again. I've crawled again, today, between the patients. Harry Clearwater greeted me on his way towards the exit. They say it's lightweight, they say it's bright and you feel loved and cared for. You feel divinity.

That's bullshit. I felt severed. My floating is sinking. I drag my being across the air molecules like dragging a steel ball across quick sand.

I know why. It's because I did this to myself. The window creaks open. You walk in. You're not breathing again. You stand by the window. This life doesn't even allow you to cry. You're crying for me. For this body that is getting cleaned by my dad every three days. He works my muscles in case I wake up and I have to run.

You turn to look at me. You tell me you didn't have a choice. You wanted to be with me, but couldn't. You couldn't control your thirst around your singer. You're telling me all this now, with hopes that I don't hear. You pray for me sometimes. For my soul to be spared. You believe your own soul is damned. What you don't realise is so is mine. So is mine! We belong together.


	7. Chapter 7

**Do you want more? **

Chapter 7

BPOV

You walked in that cafeteria, and the first thing that came to my mind was the smell of flowers in the spring. That tick, signalling the change in season, when you inhale deeply and the air is not that cold, and you smell the first blossoms.

I remember spring in Forks, where life literally explodes. It's a demanding presence; demanding of air, space, water; nurturing. The leaves explode on trees with flowers, and the colours, the beautiful colours of the flowers, of the earth as it is resuscitated from its hibernation.

How many times had Charlie found me in the woods, and I shushed him saying that the faeries would hear us and we would stop their spring dance, and the flowers and trees would stop growing.

Silly me. Your eyes inquisitive, as to who I was and where I came from, as if I already wasn't front page in Forks High news, as well as the whole town. But you get lost in your thoughts and reality, like myself, isn't one of the most appealing items on your daily agenda.

I noticed that you had to turn around from me for you to take a breath. _Why?_ I thought while Jessica's incessant babbling continued in my vicinity.

"Who's he?" I tried to feign indifference in vain. My eyes were locked with his lean form.

The spike haired girl from his table suddenly snapped her head and looked at me, narrowing her eyes. I looked away startled. I saw his lip twitch as he kept looking away. But I had the weird feeling he was eavesdropping in the conversation even though their table was all the way across the cafeteria.

Jessica went to eagerly explain how his untouchable Highness, Edward Cullen, was as elusive and slippery as an eel.

_What are you?_ I asked him in my mind as my eyes hesitantly turned to take him in.


	8. Chapter 8

**Loving your kind words! Introducing the band: Grammar and spelling - proper tense usage Breath of Twilight! Scottish doll and fellow rain sufferer angiebeans123, depicting the landscape is Christag Banners and hosting this lovely event texabella, JA Mash, DW Masen and other lovely ladies!**

Chapter 8

BPOV

What can I do to make it right? You came tonight, again, the window creaked and there you were. You're saying there might be a way for us to be together but you aren't sure the venom is going to work. The venom that made you who you are.

The same solution I had begged you for, so many times. How could you not realise the depths of my feelings? How could you not realise the life and loved ones I was willing to leave behind, if you proclaimed to feel the same?

Carlisle had asked me to join him, one afternoon, in his study. He had this theory that Edward and I are each other's mates. Huh, was my genius response. He was my mate... so why? Why the pushing away? Why the temper? Why the foul mood? I was so confused.

I bit my nails and huffed in frustration. That was then.

Now, my heart shatters again as your head finds the side of my body. Your sobs rakesthrough your being. I am tethered to this lifeless body, how can I follow you? I placed my floating being inside you trying to offer some consolation.

As you regain your composure you whisper to me: "It worked." It is then I wish for death, yet again.

~0~

**Do you want more?  
**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

BPOV

When our eyes met in Biology that first day, I saw him immediately tense and inhale sharply. He was looking for some kind of exit. I thought I saw, from the corner of my eye, when I sat next to him shards from our lab table falling on the floor.

His eyes gazed at me as if I was responsible for everything that was wrong in this world. I let my hair cover my face and I blushed furiously at attracting so much attention to myself.

Phoenix had sufficient numbers to keep me concealed. Here, I was exciting and new, in a town that nothing ever happened and everyone knew each other.

As soon as the bell rang he darted out of the class in an almost inhumanly fast and fluid motion.

I was left, sitting on that Biology lab stool, wondering what the hell had happened.

Forks turned out to be less dull than expected. Understatement of the century.

~0~

**Leave me some love!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for all your love! **

Chapter 10

BPOV

I liked going into the woods. It offered me the peace and solitude I longed for, because there's only so much of that loud crowd's ramblings that one can tolerate. I enjoyed the fact, that these kids tried to befriend me and make sure that I didn't feel like the odd one out.

I was, nevertheless. Always had been. I lived in some kind of daydream, most of the time. That's why I would go to the woods. There was a well beaten path at the end of Charlie's backyard.

I heard the sounds of small animals, smelled the wet ground, watched the small droplets of rain linger on the grass, looked at colours and shades of grey ever changing, light and shadows dancing harmoniously.

I read my books and made stories up. And that was the first time I ran into you.

Your black pained eyes, looked amber then. More serene. More you. Those eyes somehow had gotten a stronger hold on me than I thought they could. I couldn't understand. I was afraid of the admission behind this revelation.

"What are you doing here?" I asked a bit more defensively than necessary. After all, you were on my turf.

"Looking for you." Your blunt response was followed by a shoulder shrug which bugged me for some reason.

"Why?" A simple loaded question. In my mind I heard a gun cocking.

"Two things: I wanted to apologise and then introduce myself." Your voice sounded sincere and a bit pained.

"You know, there's no need for either." I retorted knowing full well that some people wouldn't like me in this lifetime. I had come to peace with that fact.

"You don't want me to apologise?" Underneath the calm some pained echoed.

"I do, but only if you do. You know my dad being the Chief of Police shouldn't deter you from you keeping your distance or your distaste for that matter," I replied, my voice laced with sarcasm. I didn't need any favours. It turned out, you wouldn't grant me any.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

BPOV

"You think I don't like you?" you asked in sincere shock.

"I'm pretty sure you don't." I replied and tried to go back to my book, clearly annoyed that you had gotten under my skin so much, so soon.

"You don't know anything." you replied exasperated.

"I know a look of disgust when I see one." I snapped and then I was ready to leave all my manners behind and confront your arrogant ass.

Your voice sounded broken, when you replied. "The disgust was not meant for you, but for myself." you said resigned. your façade somehow, seemed to crumble and a more honest, sensitive pair of eyes turned to look at me.

I was sat on a rock, with my paperback of Wuthering Heights, and you stood with plenty of distance between us.

"Why, I know I somehow caused it, but I want to place the rest of the pieces together." I decided that honesty was the best tactic. My anger evaporated when I saw the evident pain in your eyes.

"You like reading tragic love stories?" you asked as you motioned your head at the book in my lap.

"Yes, but I see what you're doing," I said, and I felt like some fever had captured my being.

"What' s that?" your voice was barely audible, just an exhaling whisper.

"Trying to change the subject." I replied getting tired of going around in circles.

"I'm starting to fear that this was a bad idea." You replied. My chest tightened at your words.

"No, it wasn't. Nobody would come in the woods, just to make an apology. Please," I pleaded for something I couldn't pinpoint. Or wouldn't admit. The ancient Greeks called it tragic irony. I called it a sick sense of humour.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks to angiebeans123, breath of twilight, christag banners for all their help! This fic would be random pictureless words if it weren't for those lassies! **

Chapter 12

BPOV

"What do you want, Bella?" your tone was clipped.

"Okay, this is rich." I inhaled sharply, and then I continued on a single breath "_You _come here to apologise and introduce yourself to _me, _and somehow I end up being on trial. All right, then, we'll play it your way: What I want is to know what you are, how you found me in the woods and why? What's your fucking beef with me? How come your eyes changed colour from black to amber? Oh, and why I can't stop thinking of you since the day I first saw you?" That last bit, was too much information, but I couldn't help myself, or censor myself unfortunately.

For a change I rendered you speechless, even if only momentarily and I relished in the power I had over you. Alas, said power ran both ways. You think that you held your poker face, but I saw your lips twitch at my final statement.

"Okay." You said, obviously contemplating how much information you wanted to reveal.

You exhaled deeply, and pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. You shook your head, lost deeply in thought, probably going through different options.

"Right," you said, coming to a sudden decision "I'll answer some of your questions, _if _you answer some of mine. I'm sure you're familiar with the concept of compromise." Your beautiful lips twitched into what seemed to be a crooked smile.

In that moment, my heart stopped. When it started again, it was frantic against my chest.

"Familiar yes, agreeable to it, not necessarily." I smiled and blushed that traitorous colour, desperately trying to hide my face inside the curtain of my hair.

"Don't hide from me." He pleaded quietly.

I pulled the strands behind my ear.

"So?" I dragged in question.

"Yes, but you have to answer too." You raised an eyebrow, thus extending the challenge.

"Fine," I replied in resignation.

"I knew where to find you because I followed your scent. My eyes change colour because of my... ehm... condition. As for what I am, I'd rather hear your theories. My uh... beef with you has again to do with my condition. As for the why, it's because I-I-I can't stop thinking about you either. So there." You said as you approached a bit closer with small steps.

"You can't?" I asked surprised. I never believed for one moment that someone as cherubic as Edward, would even grant me a second glance.

"No." You shook your head in affirmation.

My heart started racing again. Your head snapped to the side, avoiding eye contact and your nostrils flared. I knew then, I was in deep trouble.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

BPOV

As a spirit, I have been mesmerised by the maternity ward. There's so much energy put into bringing new life to the world. So much sacrifice.

And I'm thinking what an ungrateful idiot I am to have wasted this gift. I am enraged with my childish behaviour. Hurting Edward, his family, my dad and mom. So many people in pain.

I'm the cause of this pain. There's no easing my guilt, or making excuses of why I did what I did. Yet, at the time, all I could think about was death.

And not any kind of death. No, I was looking for the kind that would make it easier for you. A death that would help you be near me without restraint, near your singer, but above all near your mate.

Because I know, now, in hindsight, that we are mates. I shouldn't have ever questioned my conviction. The pull had been too strong from the very beginning. Physical, mental, emotional, everything seemed to get magnified around you.

All that's left now is that flesh, forced heartbeat, mechanical breath. As for myself, I have found something worse than death; this purgatory was specially designed for me to see how much I've hurt the people I love.

You sneak in again through the window, and you don't stay away this time. I see the tinge of colour on your cheeks. You had to hunt for you not to be tempted by my blood.

You come by my side. You sit on that chair. Your hand extends to caress my cheek.

"Bella" you sigh and then continue "I love you."

Your shoulders are shaking again, and I wish I could give you tears, or bring myself to life, your kind of life, anything to stop this torment.

"I miss you so much." You whisper again. "There might be hope, but we don't know for sure." Your index finger traces my upper lip. In that moment, in a fraction of a second, I feel the pull of my body calling.

And then it's gone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi all, have you been reading my fellow drabblers work? Please check them out! Also my very interview is available on the blog of the Drabble Wars! **

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**Please note that the available beta'd chapters are up to 18 and I will post them all tonight (UK time). Please review!  
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Chapter 14

BPOV

"Don't leave," I half demanded half whined, adding the all powerful pout for good measure.

"Don't think even for a moment that those tricks work with me," you said his eyes filled with mirth. We were out in the woods during lunch time at school.

"Then just stay of your own accord. Don't admit to succumbing to my charm," I said mockingly, but my heart fluttered all the same. Was there any charm there? And if there was, was it working at all?

Half the time I felt like a fool around you, a clumsy fool, at that. I fell, dragged chairs with my clothes, and my backpack kept getting caught on door handles; the whole shebang.

"Okay, what do you want to do?" You sat back down at the tree across from me. Our distance always pained me. It didn't matter that you weren't mine.

Our lunch hour routine wasn't noticed by anyone. My attempt of invisibility had worked; Jessica left me alone after I shot down her own target, Mike, at the offer of a date.

Only Angela had stayed, but she was way too discreet to ask where I'd been. And she was always busy with Ben, who, somehow finally responded to her really shy advances.

"How about 20 questions?" I retorted, wanting to know everything about this creature, whatever he was.

"Not so sure about that, maybe if we play the censored version." Your eyes were again happy and amber.

"I'll play along, but I do want some answers at some point." I stated and pointed my finger at him.

"Bella, do you think this is a game?" You got mad at me. Again. I hated that.

"No, I actually don't, but since I'm the only one who's being sincere and honest, between the two of us, I think it's fair you answered some questions. It's been two months now, Edward,," I said, resigned with the fact that I would come to face yet again the proverbial wall you set around you every time I pushed for information.

I got annoyed at your temper. I got annoyed at getting nowhere. I got up. Before I took another step, I barely heard you say "Bella, please..." But, at, that point it wasn't enough.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

BPOV

I looked at you as you waited for me around the back. We had started walking to school together, every morning. The 20 minute walk was filled with more questions about how I grew up, what my favourite music was and my likes and dislikes. Some titbits of information escaped you, when your guard was down.

Side by side, I took in your profile from the corner of my eye. I felt like I was floating and sinking simultaneously under a thick, suffocating cloud bank. Your pale skin, your bronze messy hair, your hands hanging loosely by your side. I wanted to touch you. I longed for it.

"I can't believe you like Janis Joplin; you were born in the 90's," you said, shaking your head as if that mere thought was inconceivable.

"She's raw and intense and I don't really understand what your problem is with my age...I mean, how old are you?"

"17," you answered, but your stiff stance betrayed to me that there was more than that bit of information. I took a risk, right then and there.

I whispered under the drops of rain, convinced that somehow you would hear me: "How long have you been 17?"

"A while," you finally admitted. I bit my lip, to conceal my satisfaction. He finally trusted me enough, to reveal to me a bit more.

In that moment, my hand, as if with a mind of its own, grasped your cold one and squeezed. Your gasp and shocked expression as your eyes flew to mine instantly made me regret my move and retract the traitorous limb.

"I'm s-s-sorry," I stammered, feeling like a complete idiot.

"You just surprised me, Bella," you said quietly, but your eyes averted away from me. And even though your eyes had found something extremely interesting to focus on, on a nearby tree, your hand slowly, tentatively, and oh so tenderly, reached for mine. A barely there graze at first. I tried desperately to calm myself down, but to no avail.

I knew by then that my rapid heartbeat brought forth a side of you that I didn't like.

You froze behind me and I stopped. I tried to be as still as possible as you tried to tame your feral side.

Next thing I knew, I was getting slammed against the tree. My head was cradled by your hand in a silky, marble cage.

Your nose grazed my neck and I shivered uncontrollably.

"Bella, you have to understand, it's so hard for me. It's so hard. It's so dangerous for you, and I'm being so selfish," you sobbed against my neck. My arms wrapped around you then, to convey that I feel for your hardships.

Before another second had passed, you were gone.

~0~

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	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

BPOV

Two weeks had gone by, after that incident in the woods. You were gone. My mood worsened with every day that had gone by. On the second week, your family stopped showing up. I thought you had all gone.

Even the sunny weather, couldn't shake away that sinking feeling of dread.

That Saturday, I decided to take a walk in the woods again, in the vain hope that I would run into you. I brought my Pride and Prejudice paperback, but nothing could help me concentrate. I had a nagging feeling that I was being followed.

I had discovered a beautiful meadow near home, some time ago. I had just walked roughly a couple of miles north, trying to follow the sounds of the small stream that was crossing the edge of it. I thought it would cheer me up as I felt that my chest would explode.

I sat in the middle of the meadow. It was sunny and warm, such a rarity for the small town of Forks. A light breeze felt refreshing on my skin.

And then I felt him. He sat at the edge of the meadow, just where the shade started.

"Edward." I called to him.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" your voice was so strained.

"I'm enjoying the sun, come join me." I waved at him hopeful that he would.

"I'm not really a big fan of the sun. It affects my ...ehm... condition," your voice got quieter, as if you were giving away too much.

"What are you a vamp...?" I didn't even managed to finish that sentence when it all fell into place. My chuckle was choked halfway. Edward was a vampire. A vampire that thirsted for my blood. That's why it was hard for him to be in confined spaces with me. That's why my elevated heartbeat affected him. That's why I'd never seen him eat or drink anything. His family were all vampires.

As it all clicked into place, I also realised: I didn't even care.

~0~

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	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

BPOV

"You are, aren't you?" I whispered quietly.

"Yes," you admitted just barely audible for me.

"Are you in pain right now?" I whispered as quietly as possible.

"I feel my throat burn. I feel thirsty." you replied with a shrug. That had been your reality. And then I thought of all the times we were in confined spaces. Like the Biology lab, where you were always stiff and struggling... Now I knew it had been against yourself. So you could protect me.

"Am I the cause?"

"Yes."

My head fell in shame. I didn't want to be responsible for another person's pain. I didn't want to be the cause for your unhappiness.

"I'm sorry," I uttered quietly.

"For what? Please, tell me what you're thinking," your voice was strained.

"Can I even come closer to you?" My hand reached out on its own. Bereft, from the loss of what had never been. The sinking feeling of your absence, quickly replaced by the sinking feeling of your loss.

"It wouldn't be safe." You shook his head in the shade.

"You know, I can't help how I feel about you," I confessed regretting the words almost instantly.

"The question here is: how do you feel?" you asked in a resigned voice as if you were anticipating rejection.

"I don't care that you're a vampire," I said with conviction. In that instant, I stood up from the grass and went to join him, at the edge of the tree line.

"You should, Bella. I'm a predator. Don't you realise the danger you're in?" Your tone slightly higher, your voice clearly aggravated.

"It's too late now. I care about you too much. It's not like I can switch it off," I said just as exasperated, but I made the attempt to close the distance between us.

"You shouldn't care about me Bella, I'm a monster, a soulless monster, that has fantasised about drinking your blood," your voice broke whilst finishing these poisonous words. You shifted your weight from foot to foot, as if you were contemplating an escape.

"You cannot dictate to me how I should feel," I retorted through clenched teeth. My fists remained clenched at my side.

"We cannot be Bella. Do you not see? This cannot happen," you breathed out.

"You cannot stop me from feeling the way I do, either. " I was so frustrated, I was about to stomp my foot on the ground like a petulant child.

"The only thing that can stop me," I paused briefly, trying to brace myself for the possibility of being rejected, "is you not feeling the same," I said barely above a whisper, but your head snapped in my direction.

"You should know by now. Of all the people, _you, _should know." you said and I lifted my head from the ground to see his eyes, tormented and serene at the same time.

Tiny slow steps brought you in front of me. Your head turned away in what I thought was a deep breath, clear of my scent, and then you turned and looked at me. Your arms tentatively, reluctantly, reached for my waist. You brought your cool marble body flush with mine. I slowly placed my arms around your neck and touched the soft hair at the nape of your neck. Your upper body enveloped mine. We both shivered.

Something shifted between us that day. It brought the tragedy of our situation forth. We stood there, fools that we were, in our effort to make this work.

~0~

**One more chapter tonight. Please review! Thanks for reading!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Last one for tonight! See you in the morning!**

Chapter 18

BPOV

I had woken up from a dream. I looked around to discover I was in my bedroom in Forks. That dream had awoken feelings in me I never thought I possessed.

I never believed in lust. I had never had these feelings evoked before. But now, my mind was filled with thoughts of you. Reaching out to touch, to awaken, to stimulate.

My breaths were coming in short pants. I pictured you, in all your angelic glory, unbuttoning my shirt. Your eyes never held any doubt. Your hands were strong, confident, yet light in their touch.

My hand moved under my wife beater to find the swell of my breast. I pictured you smiling, enjoying the view as you discovered my body. I thought about what it would feel like for your cool tongue to latch onto one of my hardened nipples. I could feel a light sheen of sweat on my forehead, as both my hands rolled and pinched at my nipples.

I thought I heard a creak on my floorboards. I was too far gone to pay any attention, as Edward's hands moved towards the south in my imagination. I whispered your name quietly, trying not to make any noise. I moved my hand from my breast, and I cupped my mound. The elation and excitement I felt were unprecedented.

I placed my hand on my folds and found that I was already sleek with my juices. Edward, in my mind, gave me a very appreciative look. What spell had he cast on me? I felt my clit between my fingers. I slowly circled it with my index and middle fingers imagining yours, pleasing me. My body was on fire.

I kept going and going, in my mind you were teasing me by slowing down, picking up pace and looking at my body mesmerised. You enjoyed what you were doing.

I set a faster pace and my hips bucked and left the mattress. I was so close. My fantasy Edward winked at me. He promised to drive me insane, and then my climax hit me. Waves of pleasure erupted and expanded as explosions took hold of my body.

I was still panting, with my hips elevated and my feet supporting my lower body on the bed, my one hand on my pussy and my other on my nipple when I heard the distinct creak of the window getting shut.

It was then I knew, he felt the same. And I was mortified.

~0~

**Oh my...what would you do if you got ...ahem... caught? Naughty girls!**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

BPOV

The following day, I decided that, if anything, he should feel guilty for being in my bedroom. Secretly, I relished that I was the object of his attention.

I watched him trying to steal glances my way and then lower his head. He was waiting for me, as always, in the back yard, to walk the 20 minutes to school. Usually, when we didn't have anything to talk about, we remained silent. It was a comfortable thing. It was the kind of silence that happens to people who don't feel nervous around each other.

That morning was everything but. Edward fidgeted, huffed and puffed, looking up as if he was deciding to say something or not, then shaking his head in annoyance. He pulled his hair more than usual.

"Okay, spill!" I turned around to confront him.

In a flash, his body had caged mine. His eyes were black and ominous, or maybe lusty, I couldn't decide.

"Tell me," he hissed.

"What do you want?" I thought the attentive fantasy Edward with the easy smiles was what I needed. But I already felt my arousal mounting. Who would have known that feral, wild Edward was indeed what I wanted.

"Tell me it was me. Tell me it was my name. I need to know," he said again unashamed in his admittance. He was watching me. His eyes had a strange glint to them as if so much depended on my reply.

"You know it was you. It can only be you. You have to know," I pleaded, because it could not be helped. I loved him.

His eyes darted from my eyes to my lips, to my eyes and then his hand moved to touch my hair and the side of my neck.

"I can't be with you." Edward removed his body from mine. I whimpered at the loss.

My tears blurred my vision.

"Then stop. Stop everything. You know how I feel. If you can't be with me, or even discuss this with me, then leave." I turned to leave.

I kept walking, knowing he was behind me the whole time.

The following morning, their parking spaces in the lot were empty. So was my heart.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hello babies! To answer some questions, I haven't finished this story and I haven't got back beta'd chapters so it should be another couple of weeks before we finish. Bear with me as we should get to the good part, after we've been to worst part.**

**Second, I'm just imagining she joined junior year on the second term. We're maybe talking April-May? I leave it vague as it's not really important to the storyline.  
**

**I'm not one to ask usually but I would love some more revieeeeewsss!  
**

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Chapter 20

BPOV

That Saturday, there was a knock on my door. Excited that it might have been you, I came to the door.

Alice stood there, with her spiky black hair and pair of expensive sunglasses. Curious, I looked up the sky and the ever present cloud bank was there.

"They match my outfit, okay?" she huffed.

"How did you...?" I asked still holding the door.

"Are you not going to ask me in?" she pointed to the living room.

"Sorry, yes, come on in." I replied, still dumbfounded that she could show up, just like that, when for the past three months we had been at the same school, we hadn't even exchanged a word of hello.

I sat at the sofa, gesturing for her to have a seat.

"I've had it up to here with his brooding, Bella." I guessed subtlety and small talk were not her strong points.

"I take it you mean Edwards' brooding." I stated the obvious, tr

ying to coax out of her the reason for her visit.

"Yes," she gestured with her hand. " Why could he not just do what I told him, we would be having none of that now." she seemed furious.

"And what was that?" I asked knowing full well she wouldn't need much more prompting on my part.

"I told him to change you. This is unnecessary pain for the both of you" she finished as her eyes softened, feeling her empathy.

"Change me? Can he do that?" I asked a glimpse of hope, reappeared in the horizon.

"Of course he can. Bella, you have to understand, that the first vision I had of you, you were one of us. That is so solidified as the air we breathe." She explained.

"V-v-vision? What do you mean?" I asked flabbergasted.

"So, he's not told you anything, I take it." She mumbled some choice words under her breath and then looked up at me. "Some vampires are gifted Bella. I can see visions of the future and Edward can read minds. Everyone except yours, that is."

I sat there, feeling air coming in and out of my lungs, but other than that, I was frozen in place. I was in shock. My eyes blinked. I could feel the panic attack taking shape, with the way I could distinctly hear the thrumming of my heart.

Alice took a paper bag out of her handbag. She had known before she came, that I'd need it.

She came over to sit with me, put her hands around my shoulders and forced me still. She put the bag in my hand.

"Shhh, Bella, it's all right. Breathe, just breathe." she said. Her approach of me was so easy, like an older sister, and it took me by surprised. Edward could only be close to me if we were outdoors. There was Alice, holding me, helping me breathe in a confined space.

"Why is it easier for you?" I asked when my breathing had calmed.

"Because, Bella, you're not my singer." she explained with a tender smile.

"Singer?" I asked.

"Yes, a singer, for a vampire, is the person whose blood tempts them more than anything in the world." she clarified. In that light, I saw Edward, tormented and resisting, his most delicious dish. I felt so much compassion. The irony of our predicament couldn't escape me as well.

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**Mwah!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

BPOV

"But why change me, if he doesn't feel..." I was shut up by her fierce talk to the hand gesture.

"None of that with me Bella. You know the bond you two have, it's unbreakable." she clarified, not a hint of doubt in her voice.

"I'm not so sure about that." I shook my head.

"Why did you come here, Alice?" I composed myself again. The little pixie had managed to get under my skin so fast. Like everyone of them did.

"I came to invite you to our house, and, to tell you that Edward will be away next week. He left for Alaska, yesterday before school." she said with a sigh.

My heart broke a little at the thought of not seeing him. That afternoon, I met the Cullen family, and was announced that I was Edward's mate.

Yes, I might be, but Edward was gone.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

BPOV

The only consolation came that Saturday night when my phone rang. An unknown number flashed on my screen.

"Hello?" I asked silently, as Charlie had already gone to sleep.

I heard his fast breaths from the other end of the line.

"Hello?" I asked again. No response.

"Edward? Edward, if that's you, please talk to me. I'm sorry about what I said. I can't even begin to fathom how hard and conflicting all this must be for you." my voice broke as I anticipated silence from the other end of the line. But you surprised me. As you always did.

"Bella, hi." you sounded so exhausted as if your years finally caught up with you.

A sob escaped me.

"Are you crying? Please don't cry, Bella. I-I-I miss you." you stammered through that admission.

"I miss you too. I thought you left me." The tears continued to spill uncontrollably.

"Please don't cry Bella," you sighed deeply on the line and then continued, "Please don't cry. What can I do to make it better? I've caused you so much pain. And... you...you won't give up. Why do you believe?" his voice had no restraint over the distance. His voice was imploring.

"You know why. I know you feel the same. Alice came by today. She told me you 'd be back in a week. She also told me there might be a chance … for us."I mentioned, trying desperately but failing in acting nonchalant about it.

"Well, Alice has a mind of her own. I would never sacrifice your humanity just to keep you for myself for eternity. The loss is too much." You seemed to have put a lot of thought in the matter.

"Can't I decide for my own life, Edward?" I asked again annoyed, because the simplest of conversations turned sour with our arguments.

"Yes, exactly like you said, Bella, you can decide for your own life. My existence is by no means a life." you twisted the argument.

"Edward, talk to me. Where are you now?" I tried to change the subject.

"Up in Alaska, it's night time now, and I just finished hunting." I was shocked to hear him admit so easily his hunting. I shivered in the thought of human blood.

"Good," I said but not sounding too convincing.

"Oh my God, Bella, did you think I was hunting humans?" he asked.

"Don't you, kind of have to? Hunt … uh... humans I mean?" I shivered in fear.

"No, no, Bella, I wasn't hunting humans. My family only drinks the blood of animals."

A sense of relief washed over me, even though I would never deny Edward his true nature.

That night, and for that full week we were so far away, yet closer than ever.

Until you came back.

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**Brace yourselves we're going into the rough patch! As always I am a sucker for HEA!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hello I'm back with more chapters, still not finished, I'm a lazy cow, I know, but I will post as many as I've got.**

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Chapter 23

BPOV

It had been a long week. Every time the phone rang, butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Your sweet silky voice made me swoon.

I fantasised of all the things we would do once you got back. I dreamt of you. Again and again. I dreamt of embraces, smiles, and kisses.

I tried to recall your scent. The only thing I could capture was my reaction to your fragrance when you were near.

Seven torturously slow days and nights later, and Monday finally came. I was a nervous mess. We had shared so much this past week. I had discovered the man behind the teenager looks. A man I had come to love so deeply.

I had told you so much. What a weird thing, this distance between allowed us to be ourselves without any thought. Without my blood standing in the way. Without your thirst. For seven days we had only been Edward and Bella. You had listened. You had talked. So had I.

I dressed quickly and skipped breakfast as my stomach was a tight knot of nerves. I opened the back door. I saw your copper hair in the tree line.

And then, the control of my body left me, I started running towards you. Your stance stiffened as I was getting closer, running as fast as I could to get closer to you. In the blink of an eye, you fled.

My knees buckled with the weight of rejection . My knees gave way, and I humbly, brokenly found the ground. My empty embrace now felt colder than ever, both from the rain and you. My tears could not be contained. In that moment, the decision had formed. The execution, however, had to evade the ever knowing Alice.

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**Leave me some love and brace yourselves...**


	24. Chapter 24

**Big thanks and eternal appreciation go out to Angelaluvsfanfic, my local prereader who kens wha' ah'm talking aboot and Kelli- Breath of Twilight to whom I have caused a permanent tense confusion. Sorry babes but I'm keeping this past ... Tense...**

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Chapter 24

BPOV

I look at you from above. It's not so hard for you to be around me anymore. It's because they transfused so much different blood to keep me alive.

I smell different to you now. Your nostrils always flare in disappointment when you enter my hospital room. At least you can be close to me. At least you and I can both mourn the loss of us. The us that never was. The us that had been my biggest wish.

I felt an evil satisfaction thinking how Alice would have broken the news to you. How your eyes would widen. How you 'd ran to find me. See for yourself. How you 'd realise how you felt for me.

Like the stubborn man that I know you are, you refused to believe it. You shook your head vehemently, as if the mere thought of it was a ridiculous notion.

My bled out body laid on the other side of the glass, at the operating table. Carlisle screamed orders to stop the bleeding, for more blood. My spirit lifted, and in that millisecond of quiet serenity, I knew. I'd done it all wrong. It had been a cry for help. But I should have never condemned you to pay such a price.

But the line was flat and I was there, looking at you, looking at a body that had just been a host.

A host of my soul. A host of my love for you.

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**Leave me some love!**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

4 Days after he ran away from her...

BPOV

I didn't want to get caught. I couldn't be without you and I couldn't be with you. I started avoiding you. I was so angry that you couldn't help yourself.

I was so angry because I couldn't help myself. Charlie, even caught the change of my mood, smiled sadly and suggested a father-daughter shopping day in Port Angeles. I was hurting him but I couldn't see, then. All I could see was the end.

My vision had been clouded by your terrified amber eyes and how quickly you disappeared from my line of vision that day.

I always knew you were waiting by the end of the tree line. Every single day you stood there. I knew you were there. It took all of my strength not to come and meet you. It took all my strength not to answer your calls and texts.

I started taking my truck to school again. Alice tried to approach me and so did Emmett, but I shut them out.

I changed from all the classes I had with you. I didn't want any more of that. Of the constant agony of having you there, looking at me with those pained eyes of yours. I was the cause and relief for that pain. But I was tired and fed up of that oxymoron.

I wanted to end it all. Nothing appeared to appease me anymore. Not my guilty pleasures of trashy TV. Not cooking dinner for Charlie and eating in conspiratorial silence.

All I could see, was you running away. In that endless stream of thought, your eyes turned disgusted to meet mine. You spat before you left to make me perfectly aware. In my thoughts, you had toyed with me, for your own sadistic reasons. In my sick mind, reasoning had died. Only your evil gleam could be seen. You kept waiting for me, and I kept avoiding you.

All the apologetic texts kept getting deleted. On particularly masochistic moments, I would open one.

_I'm so sorry, you just took me by surprise. Please call me. _

_I have missed you so much, why are you avoiding me?_

_Let me explain. Please let me talk to you. Give me a chance. _

It was in those moments where I let that immense grief wash over me and allow the pain to surface. I would cry myself to sleep. In the morning, the same robotic Bella would wake up and continue with her morning routine. She would then struggle, to avoid her only love.

* * *

**Here we go...**


	26. Chapter 26

**This is it... IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ, JUST DON'T. I sincerely hope no-one starts their BS... I'm not in the diplomatic mood. I got an awesome new job that I'm starting in September! So YAY me! Anybody else got exciting news?.. Yes busted, I'm trying to lighten the mood...**

Chapter 26

BPOV

I bided my time. I patiently waited for an opportunity. I never thought about it. I knew she had been watching my every move.

A loner, a shadow of my previous self, haunted by nightmares and the pain.

Weeks went by. I waited. In the background. Avoiding. Hurting. Wanting. Chastising. Struggling.

And then the opportunity came.

I had to be fast and thorough about it. They never came to school that Friday. He never waited for me on the tree line. Charlie was already at work. He had a double shift today because his deputy's wife had a baby.

I knew the Cullens must have gone to Alaska. Otherwise he would have waited, like he did every day, no matter the weather. Or at least they were out of town.

I picked the blade. Carefully, I assessed our kitchen knives. I took the one I used for slicing. And then it hurt. And I smelt the blood. The metal, acidic smell. And it trickled. In our kitchen, with a view of the backyard.

I whispered the truth then; there was no point in hiding: 'I love you.' A lone tear fell from the corner of my eye. And then darkness took over.

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**This was one hard chapter to write...**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

BPOV

"_Hello 911? Please, my daughter, please save my daughter!"_

…_._

"_Bella, please baby, please, we're going to make it all better. Please hold on!"_

…_.._

"_I need more blood, Dr Gerandy, I need more blood!"_

…_._

"_Bella stay with me! One, two, three clear!_

…

"_Carlisle, you know she needs to be induced into coma."_

…

"_My baby girl, Carlisle, why would she do such a thing? Oh my God!"_

…

"_Renee, she had brain injury, she had to be induced. Stop saying it's my fault, you heartless bitch!_

…

"_Bella, baby, they're going to put you to sleep. It's going to help you heal. Come back to me, baby, please, I beg of you. I promise I'll take better care of you, sweetie, just please come back!"_

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**Not much to say...**


	28. Chapter 28

**Thing will get better from now on? Maybe?**

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Chapter 28

EPOV

I carried it with me for weeks. I found it in my backpack at school. Now, that I'm watching you get shock after shock on your petite frame, your limbs jumping involuntarily and lifelessly with the electricity, do I realise how long you've been feeling this way.

And my promise to you is that if you don't make it, I won't either. I unfolded the crinkled paper I had already memorised and read:

_Edward, _

_I love you. I can't be with you, and, you made it blatantly obvious that you don't want to be with me. _

_I have thought of something that could help, and I hope it works._

_If I remove the temptation it should be better for both of us. You'll see. _

_You're my everything._

_Bella._


	29. Chapter 29

**Thanks for your encouraging words, some of my lovely readers are asking if I've had hate reviews and the answer is no, just preventative medicine, if you know what I mean. **

**Thank you, to all of you for your love, and also many thanks to my amazing beta Breath of Twilight, my prereader Angelaluvsfanfic for helping me sort this fic out. **

* * *

Chapter 29

BPOV

After that night, I could never find the way back to my body. I tried going into it, even tried gaining momentum, only to find myself in between molecules of dirt and concrete as I reached the foundation of the hospital.

You come every single night. You carry my note with you. Sometimes you cry, sometimes you shout silently. Sometimes you say you love me. Others, that you hate me.

My father, patiently comes and washes my body, moves my limbs and exercises my hands and legs. He talks to me and even attempts the Pride & Prejudice copy you brought from my room. He reads to me, making silly comments about the language and the characters.

"That Lizzie sure is a spitfire, just like you are." he comments, making a feeble attempt of a smile.

And he 's put so much effort, only for me to throw it all this in his face. I can't even hurt myself anew. But this pain, this pain of mine, goes deeper than any other. This is my punishment and I ought to feel it.

My father argues with the hospital staff about bringing stuff from my room. "I miss you Daddy. I'm sorry," I want to scream. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

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**Leave me some love...**


	30. Chapter 30

**Beta'd by Breath of Twilight, preread by Angelaluvsfanfic**

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Chapter 30

BPOV

It is night time at the hospital again. I'm floating in the grounds of the hospital, when I come across a conversation between you and Carlisle.

"We're not even sure it's going to work, Edward! What if the venom doesn't bring her back but she stays there, burning for an eternity? Noone of us would even know." he replies exasperated.

You pace back and forth and you pull your hair. I miss you. I miss you so badly.

"Carlisle, it's been almost 6 months now and she's not awake. What are we going to do?" I float over to touch your hand. I want to be there for you so bad. That's when you jolt and you look at your hand as if you had been electrocuted.

"Bella?" you whisper. A second later, you shake that thought away.

"What did you feel, Edward?" Carlisle asks inquisitively.

"I felt the tingle of electricity, the same thing I had felt every time Bella and I touched." you look around the room, trying to see if you could detect a change, recognise me somehow.

I invaded your body and thought with all my strength: 'I miss you.'

"Don't toy with me Carlisle. What do you mean you miss me? I'm standing right here!"

"But I never thought that Edward. Please believe me."

Confused but a little hopeful you look around.

"Bella, sweetheart, if you can hear me or if you are in this room, please show me a memory that only you and I know about."

I focus on how much I want to be with you, feel you, touch you, love you with everything I've got.

I show you the memory from the tree when I tried to hold your hand.

"It's magic," you utter mesmerised. I remember that day so clearly, and yet, seeing it from your point of view, your eyes..." his voice was soft and reverent.

Carlisle is looking shocked at Edward.

"Edward, do you know what this means? Answers about the after life... ghosts..." he wonders, and his eyes look deep in thought.

"Carlisle, that isn't what's important. We need to hurry. Bella, I'm not sure, if you are just a figment of my imagination, I sincerely hope not. But I think, you were right. No – no. I know you were right. I need to change you. This is the only chance we've got. What do you say?"

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**Leave me some love and thank you for reading!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Beta'd by Breath of Twilight, and preread by Angelaluvsfanfic.**

* * *

Chapter 31

BPOV

I know it's you. Only you can revive me. I need to give myself a purpose. And I know my purpose is to love you.

With everything that I've got, I will give my very last breath. To see you smile. To try and make this better.

With these thoughts in my mind, I occupy your space. I concentrate with all my might. One word. One to say it all. One to set the wheels of our existence in motion.

The word is one: Vampire.

You nod.

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**Short I know, but kind of important... Thank you for reading, leave me some love please!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Beta'd by the awesome Breath of Twilight, and preread by Angelaluvsfanfic**

* * *

Chapter 32

BPOV

You came today and snatched my body from the ward.

After so long I can breathe, or better yet, my body can breathe, without technical assistance. My heart beats its monotonous beat.

I follow you tethered like a disobedient dog, with no option and a leash to guide me.

Who knew, my life would become the leash keeping me to this world? And then another fleeting thought. Not this world; you.

We're standing in the middle of the meadow. You and I. You are caressing my body. The hospital gown does little to hide me.

I watch from above. The whispered words of love. The caresses and light touches. The explanations of the pain. And then the question: "Are you sure Bella?"

I occupy your space and we feel the tingle of our touch. It is my way of saying 'hi'.

I then scream a silent yes. In a split second, I am swooped back in my body, and feel your teeth spread the venom.

And the torment begins.

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**Ahem, greedy goat I know, but leave me some love?**


	33. Chapter 33

**Banner was kindly donated by Christag Banners! Beta'd by Breath of Twilight who saw my intention and corrected my tense-ion. Preread by Angelaluvsfanfic. **

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Chapter 33

BPOV

My flesh burns. The fire expands from my insides and then lingers on my joints. Countless screams leave my throat but cannot be heard.

I never thought it wouldn't work. I had never considered that option. Now, as the pain returns and the flames engulf my brain, my limbs, my heart there seems to be no end of this torture in sight.

So is this what they feared? Eternal damnation? Lingering in the torment of the unending human existence never to wake up as a vampire?

Wait a minute. Who are they? In a split moment of clarity, it all comes back.

His pale face, the way his amber eyes were liquid and crinkled when he smiled wide. His feral side. His cool hands grazing my hand.

I have to find my way back. And in the eternal red of pure agony I endure you became my beacon.

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**Thank you all! Please leave me some love!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hang in there...**

* * *

Chapter 34

EPOV

They left me there in the woods. Where our experiment had failed. I am here with my mate, and the venom did not bring her back.

The grief that washes my existence cannot allow me to dare to walk this earth. No. I have to crawl like the disgusting, selfish creature I am.

She lives in a hell. A secluded hell of my invention. The transformation didn't finish. I cannot end her. I can only suffer next to her. Until we both perish. Like a twisted Romeo and Juliet.

It's been five days. Five days that her comatose body has not responded to any stimuli.

I wonder if she misses me. I wonder if she hates me. For, this and all the pain and agony.

She's probably burning too much to remember any of it. And I did that.

Please, please, please God, if you're out there: spare her. Spare her!

Only my sobs echo in the meadow. I am alone.

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**Leave me some love...**


	35. Chapter 35

**Sing with me... Things can only get betteeer...**

* * *

Chapter 35

BPOV

I have to persevere. I just know it. I have managed to fragment the suffering, in order to formulate a plan.

I have to wake up, for Edward. For you. One plain order at the time.

Open your eyes. Open your eyes.

Open your eyes.

Open your eyes.

Open your eyes.

You can do one small thing. There is no maze. It's just you in your burning body.

At least you're in here. At least, you don't have to get a map to get back in. No, you only need to give Edward one.

And at last I didn't see. I heard. The sound of my own laugh.

Crystal clear, like separating the sound of different droplets forming the roar of a waterfall.

Now, open your fucking eyes.

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**Leave me some love...**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

EPOV

I am thirsty, exhausted from the mourning of my beloved mate and just when I think I can't get any crazier, the hallucinations startand I hear her laugh.

Yes, my angel has forgiven me.

Until her red eyes bore into mine.

Red?

Red.

Red!

She's here.


	37. Chapter 37

**Hello sweeties, let's finish this story! These chapters are not beta'd as I wanted to post, so forgive any mistakes! Please leave me some love!**

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Chapter 37

BPOV

I thought I knew what beauty was. I had been blind.

Because when I opened my eyes a whole new vibrant world was waiting for me.

My eyes are now strong, able to categorise the different plants and scenery surrounding me and still remain confused on these new colours, shades and variations of light.

All of this, until I decide to stand up. And then, all I can see is you.

You are here. Two things happen at the same time. The light lifts a fraction of a millimetre above the tree line and covers you in brilliant sparkles.

I fall in love all over again. This time though, my dead heart is not tethered to my body. It's tethered to you. Every link to this world has you as beginning and an end. It's all too clear now. You are everything.

I pounce on you in a brilliant instant.

The funniest noise comes out of your hard body: "Ow."


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

BPOV

"Kiss me. Please kiss me." I am thirsty for many things, and my throat is parched, but I don't care. I am straddling you on the ground and you don't look pained.

In fact, you look rather amused. A trembling hand starts going through the strands of my hair. I purr in pure satisfaction because we can now do something as simple as that. My eyes flutter closed and your smile has already engrained in my psyche as the most heartbreakingly beautiful sight of them all, so far.

You inhale deeply, and then you open your arms and engulf me into your embrace.

I inhale in return and I catch the scent that is you. Sweet, jasmine and honey notes attack my nostrils. I could inhale you for eternity if I didn't want to kiss you as much.

You look shy for a moment, before you finally indulge me. Ever so slow and carefully, you lift your head, your eyes shadowed by lust and focussed on my lips. I feel your breath going imperceptibly faster, and I know you don't need it, like I don't need it. But we love tasting each other in the air molecules we exhale.

I lick my lips and I feel the light sting of the venom. You lick yours and then the miracle happens. Our lips touch, so tentatively, so innocently, that it brings a sting to my eyes from the sheer emotions evoked in me.

Our lips mould together like they have always belonged together, joined and moving in this sensual dance. It's indescribable, the feelings of lust and love and adoration that course through me.

We stop for a second and then you ask in your angel's voice: "It's really happening, isn't it?"

"It really is," I breathe into his waiting mouth, " and this," I said pointing at our lips "is only the beginning."

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**Leave me some love. These chapters are not beta'd.**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

BPOV

This kiss never sated me, I want more, so much more.

"Can you believe it?" I ask a bit breathlessly but I'm in your arms, and you smile and I'm happy. We both are. We are each other's mate. Beaming at each other as close as we can get.

You shake your head and open your eyes lazily.

"It's so hard to believe, I can hold you in my arms like this," you smile and run your fingers through my hair.

I close my eyes and take it all in.

"Edward," I whisper "I love you." It's so easy to say it. So easy to admit this overwhelming emotion I have inside.

Your breath hitches.

"Bella," you utter with reverence and I open my eyes to find your eyes filled with emotion. Love, adoration, longing, lust, craving, everything goes through these black eyes of yours.

You take a minute to tighten your hold on my body, as if somehow to reassure both of us that you're still here. I know I need it. The loss we have both suffered will always linger like a threat of keeping us apart.

Then you utter the words I know you feel: "I love you too, baby, so fucking much."

It's not enough. I have to finally show you. I need it, just as much as I need you.

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**Leave me some love... These chapters are not beta'd. I want to thank you for the love you have showered me with. I feel blessed. **


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

BPOV

We lay on the wet ground, me on top of you. Smiling, touching, getting to know peace around one another. You feel warm to the touch. We thread our fingers, and then your lips are on mine again.

When your tongue wets where my lips join a fire starts slowly burning in the pit of my stomach. I want you in a fierce, possessive way. I want to mark you as mine and take you.

"What are you thinking about Bella?" your smirk confirms you have a pretty good idea of what I'm thinking whilst your hands knead my ass.

I kiss you with fervour and push my tongue into your mouth. You have awaken something in me, I cannot pinpoint. I put my hand and push your head as our lips crush together. My hand reaches and grabs the hair at the nape of your neck

"I'm thinking it's time." I kiss you again and then my lips travel to your neck. I trace with my tongue the bite mark that brought you to me with a silent thanks. You growl and begin to tear fabric from my skin, as I start doing the same.

I don't care if this is our first time, I need you and you ain't tame.

I touch your chest while you remove offending clothes on your way to my breasts. I growl at you to stop fucking teasing me already.

You oblige me by taking my hardened nipples in your fingers and rolling them. I can't help the moan that escapes me. You lift your head and suck one in your mouth.

I tear your jeans as I lift myself of your lap and feel your hard cock. I swallow for a second, as I feel the venom pooling in my mouth.

I don't care about the thirst. "I want you." I tell you and your eyes have already darkened with desire.

"I have waited so long for you," you say and choke a bit in the end. And I feel the same way.

The forest is silent around us. We're ready.

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**The next chapter is the last one, and the one we've all been waiting for...An epilogue will post as soon I have started posting my other story...**


	41. Chapter 41

**Hello my lovely readers, this is it. The last chapter. I want to write a couple of futuretakes but that will happen after I update Despair. I have loved all your reviews and comments. If any of you want, you can add me on author alert, as I have an idea for a one shot tribute to Athens, coming up.**

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Chapter 41

BPOV

There's nothing sweet about us. I bite his neck and he closes his eyes as a growl builds on his chest. I feel the rumble and it goes straight to my pussy.

We are panting together, as he turns us over and his eyes look into mine. He brings both my hands above my head and then holds them there with his right hand while his left is skimming over the skin on my side.

His hand is right there. Right above where I need him. And then the mischievous grin appears. And he talks: "Tell me now, baby. What do you need? Do you need me to finger your tight pussy? Do you want me to fuck you with my fingers? Mark my fingers with your sweet juices, is that what you want?"

His words is all I need .I'm so turned on, that I grab his hand and I try to push it inside me: "I want you to stop teasing me and fuck me already. With everything you' ve got."

He lifts himself slightly and pushes to the side and then two of his fingers are in me.

We both moan at the pleasure we feel. It's the impossibility of us, that's working like an aphrodisiac. He licks and bites my neck and when I feel his venom spreading again, my walls clench and swallow his fingers that are fucking me slow and deep hitting my clit with the palm of his hand every time he reached deep inside.

I'm getting closer and closer. My whimpers seem to spur him on, and then he starts whispering in my ear.

"Yes, baby, I can feel your sweet pussy, clenching and unclenching on my fingers." I grabbed his dick and held it firmly in my hand.

"Shit, Bella."

"Yes, Edward." I moaned and he picked up the pace. My hips bucked against his fingers.

"I want you inside me, Edward." I panted.

"Okay," he said and then I felt the whoosh of him positioning himself at my entrance.

"Yes," I hissed when I felt him push inside me. It was a stretching feeling, but when he filled me, I was finally whole.

Venom pools in my eyes as tears of gratitude can now never fall from my eyes. We transformed from feral and passionate to sweet and loving in an instant.

"I love you, Edward. Tell me you're mine. Tell me we have forever."

"You know I love you, Bella. I'm yours and we _do _ have forever." His beaming smile is all the reassurance I need. I touch your face and I'm sure the elation from the miracle that is us is reflected in both our eyes.

When he starts moving I feel the waves of pleasure start building again. This is how it should have been from the start. He reaches for a strand of my hair and caresses my cheek as his hand's moving downwards.

His eyes are filled with venom as his mate reaches to kiss his eyelids. This brings our bodies into a new angle, as I lift my torso whilst keeping my legs wrapped around his waist.

His pubic bone hits my clit with every thrust and I'm slowly losing my mind.

"I can feel you Bella. Come for me love. Come for me." He whispers and then he bites my neck. A white light blinds my vision as I feel the explosion erupts inside of me and spreads all of over my body. His moves don't falter but his pace is now frantic. He finds his release as mine almost finishes and his twitching and pulsating sends me over the edge once more.

We spend the next two days in the same state with him inside me.

Then we hunt.

That's how our forever started.

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**Thanks go out to Breath of Twilight my beta, who made me learn my tenses. Your suggestions brought the full potential of this story forth.  
**

**My banner maker Christag Banners, who donated her baby banner to me and delivered within 24 hours! Thanks for your help.  
**

**My prereader Angelaluvsfanfic who shares my frustration about Scottish weather going mental.  
**

**And last but not least the organisers of the Drabble Wars, texasbella, JA Mash, DW Masen (have I got it right?) and all the other participants who made this experience fantastic and they made me feel like a fanfic princess!**

**Thank you all, you have been absolutely brilliant!  
**


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

**Hello there! Some futuretakes to answer some questions. This is not beta'd so pardon my mistakes.  
**

**3 months later**

**Charlie POV**

I didn't even have a body. My little girl had been taken. These are the thoughts that occupy my mind these days. Renee wanted fucking closure. An empty casket. Just so we can move on, she said.

Heartless bitch. That's what I say. I stopped going into her room. Her room has been my personal torment. Go there, look around, in her familiar messiness, waiting to hear her come through the door and start her homework, but the layer of dust proved that was all I was left with. A failure of a father. Memories and a big why.

On the first month, I was all over the case. A girl, in a coma, shouldn't be of interest to anyone. Did someone do that to get to me? No ransom note, or call, for more than two weeks answered that question.

Then who? And most importantly, why? Bella had been a loner, just like me. No clue and I was getting nowhere. I went to the school, no trace. The only thing was one of the Cullen boys had gone for an exchange semester in Europe. I saw the paperwork, even called the school. I got everything confirmed.

I looked at all my cases, but Forks' crime is screaming a drunken fuck on a Saturday night on the main street. Not much happens in this podunk. And I haven't solved any serious crimes over the years. Noone begrudges me.

And then on the second month, my deputy sent me home. "You're losing it Charlie." For one moment, just a split moment, the thought, that he was trying to get rid of me because he's involved in the case, sobered me up. And yes, I had to admit, I was losing it.

But home, my empty house, was not a place I wanted to return to. I just sat there, looking out of the window and praying. Praying that this will all work out somehow. Praying that her heart is still beating and she's well and happy.

I get up to answer the phone:

"Hello?"

"Daddy?" and the receiver falls on the floor. I'm quick to pick it back up. Is someone so cruel to prank me? The voice was off, but still...

"Daddy?", I can hear the voice and it seems patient with me. "Daddy, it's me, Bella."

"Bella, baby, is that really you?" I answered, praying to whomever that this was not a cruel joke.

"Yes, daddy, it's me. I'm sorry it took so long to get in touch, I was ill for quite some time, but now I'm better." she says on the phone.

"Where are you? I can come get you. I'm sorry sweetheart, I can make this all better. Make our life better. Are you all right? Who took you?"

"Daddy, I can't come see you just now. It's not safe, yet. I'm still... um... trying to get better. But I wanted to let you know, I'm sorry. I put you through so much, and you have been so good to me.

I- I -I love you, daddy. And I'm doing better. Soon, I'll come to see you. I want you to move on with your life. Be happy. No more grief for you, now you know, I'm all right.

I want you to go back to work, and try and find someone. Someone who can cook your meals, otherwise a thank you letter from the frozen dinner company is on its way."

A smile broke my features. The first real smile in so many months.

"Okay, baby girl. Tell me just this. Was it my fault?" I have blamed myself for so long, I was just bracing myself for the confirmation.

"No, daddy, oh, how could you even think that way? I was selfish and foolish, and I never realised how much I hurt you. I will make it up to you daddy. I promise. Please don't worry about me. I will call again soon, and we'll talk about when 'llI see you."

"Okay, sweetie. I love you very much, I have missed you, I thought I lost you forever," I confessed exhaling slowly.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my dad, Charlie Swan, King of the Ice?"

I chuckled, that was Bella all right. "You melted the ice when I heard your voice, sweetheart. So much time has gone by without me truly telling you what a blessing, you've been in my life. Life's too short. I realise that."

"Awwwww, daddy, all that mushiness will make your moustache stick together, you know?"

I laughed heartily. Not because it was particularly funny. But I had missed that. The connection with my child. My daughter. We talked a little more and then said our goodbyes and hung up.

I felt weightless, after so long. I felt the relief wash over me. My little girl was alive and well. She was out of the coma. She was going to see me soon.

I spent the afternoon, cleaning and tidying the house. And then I realised I should really listen to Bella. It had been long enough. And I knew just the person, the person who had been close to me all this time. Sitting on the sidelines, offering her help, her support and expecting nothing in return.

I picked up the phone and dialled the number.

"Hello, Sue? … Yes, it's me Charlie … No nothing is wrong Sue,everything as it's supposed to be … Listen, I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow night? … You're free? That's great. How would you like to go out to dinner with me? .. I know this great little place..."

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**Leave me some love!**


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